Calvin Klein's New Angle on Life

They've trademarked the bogus word "technosexual" and are apparently bent on creating a whole line of fashion for it.

Whatever. These are the days when I wish I had a swarm of super speedy swamp slugs at my disposal. I would send them post-haste to Manhattan to the Calvin Klein office for a little swarming.

Maybe I should trademark the word "hecknosexual?"

The Academy Awards Rhyme with Gourd

I'm not sure where to go from there, but it's the awful truth. I suppose if the Academy Awards were held on some Polynesian island where the men only wear penis-gourds, maybe they would be called the Academy Gourds.

Or maybe not. I don't think I'm going to lose much time thinking about that one.

At any rate. The Academy Awards of 2007.

Who cares?

California Needs A Spanking

California needs a spanking. The state needs it for lots of reasons, of course, chief among them Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, and the fact that we let Hollywood and all of its plastic, botoxed demi-gods keep on churning out moronic movies.

However, the latest reason is Assemblywoman Sally Leiber of San Jose. Leiber, a Democrat, has introduced a bill that will outlaw spanking. AB 755. Of course, she doesn't have any children. Corporal punishment, whether you like it or not, gets the job done and keeps kids in line. It has worked well for millions of families over the ages without any great complaint or subsequent neuroses.

Granted, anything in life can be abused and misused. But just because something is misused doesn't mean it should be outlawed. If you followed that logic, we'd be banning butter right and left, as well as practically everything else around here. Cheese would definitely get banned. A lot of people abuse and misuse cheese, if you know what I mean.

Here's my ad hominem attack for the day: Sally Leiber, judging from her photos, should concentrate on banning butter rather than spanking. That would probably have an immediate and positive effect on her.

Costco and the Polish

No, this is not a racist post. I have nothing against the Polish people. Costco, as far as I know, has nothing against the Polish people as well. They fought the Nazis and the Soviets, and that's good enough in my book (as an aside to my previous Peace Activist post - what would these peace activists have done when the Soviet tanks were rolling into town? - "oh pardon me, Mr. Kommisar, we're for peace!" He would've probably raised one thick eyebrow and then packed the lot of 'em off to Siberia).

Rather, Costco should be applauded, praised, lauded and celebrated for the great deal they have on the Polish & Drink at their outside food counter. $1.50 for a 1/4 pound Polish and a Drink. Ah, heaven on earth.

Peace Activists and Godzilla

Every once in a while, some peace activists scuttle out of whatever broken down '73 VW bus they live in and deposit themselves, like unwanted minerals on your toilet porcelain, at one of the main intersections in my town.
They were out in force today, mainly due to the nice weather, I suppose. They had signs with sayings like: "Honk For Peace" or "Down With Bush" or just the peace symbol.
One of the mildly interesting things about these folks is that they all look like scraggly leftovers from the 60s.
Anyway, it is at times like these that I have a tough time holding onto my christianity. Driving past them, the thought struck me that it might be nice to be able to control wild animals or at least insects with my mind. That way, I could send a swarm of mosquitos onto the peace activists and see how long they stay peaceful.
Or, maybe it would be productive to get my own sign and stand among 'em. My sign would say something like: "Honk If You Think Peace Activists Are Dopes" or "Honk If You Think War Is Sometimes Necessary" or "Honk If You Think The Guy Next To Me Is A Weenie."
Or, maybe it'd be nice if Godzilla just showed up and ate 'em all.

The Marriage of Rick Warren and Barack Obama

Rick Warren, pastor and author of The Purpose Driven Life, had Senator Barack Obama out to his church last week to speak about AIDS and prevention. The Senator received a standing ovation. One church member remarked afterward that, "If I had my preference, abstinence would get the most emphasis. But I'm not so insensitive to other cultures and other ways of thinking to know that abstinence is not always going to be the answer."

The logic behind Warren inviting Obama to speak is less than compelling. The church member's response is, frankly, something worse than moronic. If you follow that logic with other issues, the stupidity of it becomes a bit more glaring. Consider it with the issue of murder: "If I had my preference, not murdering folks would get the most emphasis. But I'm not so insensitive to other cultures and other ways of thinking to know that not murdering folks is not always going to be the answer."

Rick Warren needs to retire.

Sad But True Joke

What's the difference between a developer and an environmentalist?

A developer wants to build a home in the country. An environmentalist has a home in the country.

Hillary Clinton for Prez

Well, it looks like Hillary Clinton is semi-officially in the race to become our next President. She's put together an exploratory team together to investigate her options.

I'd like to put an exploratory team together to investigate options of immigrating to another galaxy before 2008.

Louie's Bull

Recently, I wrote a song called Poor Louie's Bull and then posted it several days ago on my song blog. The song's about one of our local county supervisors - a dairyman - who made an unpopular vote on a development permit. This resulted in his bull getting assassinated one night. Some psychotic twit cut through the fence and blew the bull away.
Great material for music.
Anyway, little did I know...
The local papers got hold of it and ran stories about the song and the bull (the murder happened one year ago). Now, besides the Monterey Herald and the Salinas Californian, the Sacramento Bee, the San Jose Mercury News, some paper up in San Francisco, one in San Luis Obispo and the Contra Costa Times have all run the story.
Whee...
Wonder what I should sing about next?