The Fictions of Grandpa Harry: Introducing that Worthy

Grandpa Harry maintains selective use of his faculties. And when I say faculties in terms of Grandpa Harry, I don't mean just hearing and seeing; I also mean mental processes. For example, Grandpa Harry is perfectly capable of voting straight-ticket Republican one day ("after all," he says, "they're gonna steal less of my money, curse their money-grubbing, pork-forking little hearts!") and then voting straight-ticket Democrat the next ("that Hillary Clinton woman," he says, "she's got a fine figure on her! Yessiree! And that Howard Bean fellow? Real class. A man who ain't afraid to yell like that has genuine gumption.").

Anyway, Grandpa Harry was out mowing the lawn today on the old ride mower. He was wearing his black and white keffiyeh scarf that he bought last week at the farmer's market in Monterey (you can get them for about 20 bucks and I think they're made in Mexico or China, depending on the quality).

My wife came inside and said, "is he yelling what I think he's yelling?" I went outside to listen. It was a bit difficult to hear due to the noise from the mower, but it sounded like he was hollering "Allah Akbar!" every once in a while as he whizzed around through the almond trees.

I suppose that comes from reading the New York Times too much. Their memes on cultural diversity, tolerance and all that seep right into a body's head if you aren't too careful. Kind of like bad honey oozing down into bread. It doesn't help as well when you have President Bush harping on about Islam being a religion of peace. At any rate, Grandpa Harry's been interested in Islam ever since the Danish cartoon controversy. He says that any religion that allows you to marry multiple wives, go out and riot at any provocation, and chop people's heads off if you don't like what they say definitely has its attractions.