The Unbearable Wrongness of a Well-Filled Diaper

I realize there are many things wrong with the claims inherent in that title: the rightness of good digestion, the blessed invention called the diaper (which, alone, calls into question the relative worth of all previous and present civilizations that weren't clever enough to invent their own diapers: the Aztecs - did they invent the diaper? No, they merely murdered thousands of people by pulling their still-beating hearts from their chests; the Egyptians - did they weave papyrus rushes into diapers? No, but they discovered a great way to pull the brain out of your head via a metal hook and your nose; the various Hindu dynasties - diapers? No, but, hey, suttee is quite a contribution to world culture), and babies in general.

However, the smell...