Buy Your Woodstove While You Still Can...

Ah...the inmates are running the asylum now. Barbara Boxer has just been named Chair of the Senate Environmental Public Works Committee. She has declared that one of her main goals will be cutting greenhouse gases, as she is greatly concerned about global warming.

Phooey. Policies generated by lunatic beliefs as shaky as a flamingo with two broken legs?

Next, we're going to see policies generated by a belief in the abominable snowman. Anyone peeing in the snow (ie., the critical habitat of the abominable s.) will be fined $10,000 and given two years in solitary. Affirmative action for tall, hairy people of indeterminate sex who live in the snow (ie., North Dakota, Minnesota or Tibet) and express themselves by grunting and bashing people over the head with icicles. Hate crimes against said hairy, abominable people will be prosecuted vigorously. The word "abominable" will be re-defined to mean "caring, debonair and good at mixing cocktails."

If people are really serious about curbing greenhouse gases, then they should stop eating legumes (that's "beans" to those of you who didn't go to college), cork up their cows (you know what I mean), and lobby against volcanoes (the worst perpetrators of all).

Alright, alright - out of deference to the fact that Senator Boxer is from my state of California, I'll shuffle into line behind her along with all the rest of the sheeple.

Stop Greenhouse Gases! Ban the Bean Burrito!

And buy yourself a woodstove while you can, before they're banned.