Running with Metaphors

Barbara Walters once asked then-President Jimmy Carter in an interview: "if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?" I wish she had asked him instead, "if you were a gun-running gopher, what kind of cigar would you smoke while driving your V-10 Ford F450 through the Sonoran desert in your desperate attempt to evade the Mexican Federales?"

And then, once he had answered that, I wish she had followed up by asking him, "would you be wearing a lot of bling-bling at such a time?"

Sadly, she asked neither question. I can't remember which tree he revealed himself to be.

Where's my chainsaw?