Why, Yes! Let's Give It All Back!
Okay! The overwhelming logic of seeing all those Che Guevara shirts and flags in various states of array and disarray have finally gotten to me. Why, yes! Let's just give California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas back to Mexico.
Also, let's give Louisiana back to the French, as well as Florida to Spain. Alaska to Russia, naturliski. Next on the return-list: Massachusetts, Rhode Island, New Hampshire, Connecticut, New York, etc. They all get returned to England to enjoy socialized medicine (or the lack thereof) as well as listening to Prince Charles burble about global warming and organic carrots on the BBC.
Then, of course, Italy will have to returned to the Visigoths, as those fur-clad folk had Rome at one time or another. I think there might be a Goth living in Bavaria somewhere, making sausages. If he isn't willing to take over Italy, then there are plenty of Goths (of a sort) in the United States who might be willing to step in.
England? Back to the Picts. Brazil gets handed back to Portugal. Okinawa should surely be returned to the Okinawans - that's definitely a no-brainer. The majority of Mesopotamia (Iraq, Iran and Syria, as well as parts of Turkey) should be shuffled off on the Greeks, as they were the top-ouzos there for quite some time a long whiles back.
And as far as Israel goes? Hmm. Perhaps there's a descendant of the Philistines living in New York who might be persuaded to give up his Tribeca apartment in order to receive what's rightly supposed to be coming to him?
Of course, Mexico and most of South America should be foisted back onto Spain. Or should France get Mexico? They ruled it for a while under the auspices of Napoleon and Maximillian. France really should get something. And where are the Incas? Can someone find a Incan fellow? That would take care of Peru.
The Huns owned a great deal of the known world at one time. Someone needs to visit Mongolia and tell their descendants that. Tell them they're entitled! And bring some Che Guevara t-shirts with you to pass out. Long sleeve and woven of yak-hair to keep out the cold.
This just in. A small spacecraft full of Martians wearing Che Guevara t-shirts has just landed in Los Angeles. They have a deed to Earth that is dated 1032 BC. As there are no other land grants predating that, I guess we'll have to turn the Earth over to them.
Also, let's give Louisiana back to the French, as well as Florida to Spain. Alaska to Russia, naturliski. Next on the return-list: Massachusetts, Rhode Island, New Hampshire, Connecticut, New York, etc. They all get returned to England to enjoy socialized medicine (or the lack thereof) as well as listening to Prince Charles burble about global warming and organic carrots on the BBC.
Then, of course, Italy will have to returned to the Visigoths, as those fur-clad folk had Rome at one time or another. I think there might be a Goth living in Bavaria somewhere, making sausages. If he isn't willing to take over Italy, then there are plenty of Goths (of a sort) in the United States who might be willing to step in.
England? Back to the Picts. Brazil gets handed back to Portugal. Okinawa should surely be returned to the Okinawans - that's definitely a no-brainer. The majority of Mesopotamia (Iraq, Iran and Syria, as well as parts of Turkey) should be shuffled off on the Greeks, as they were the top-ouzos there for quite some time a long whiles back.
And as far as Israel goes? Hmm. Perhaps there's a descendant of the Philistines living in New York who might be persuaded to give up his Tribeca apartment in order to receive what's rightly supposed to be coming to him?
Of course, Mexico and most of South America should be foisted back onto Spain. Or should France get Mexico? They ruled it for a while under the auspices of Napoleon and Maximillian. France really should get something. And where are the Incas? Can someone find a Incan fellow? That would take care of Peru.
The Huns owned a great deal of the known world at one time. Someone needs to visit Mongolia and tell their descendants that. Tell them they're entitled! And bring some Che Guevara t-shirts with you to pass out. Long sleeve and woven of yak-hair to keep out the cold.
This just in. A small spacecraft full of Martians wearing Che Guevara t-shirts has just landed in Los Angeles. They have a deed to Earth that is dated 1032 BC. As there are no other land grants predating that, I guess we'll have to turn the Earth over to them.
posted by ToadRocket at 4:27 PM
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