Yet Another Tale For Our Times: Frank the Frankfurter

Yet another tale from the lost anthology of Harvard stories from the 70s, lost during a LSD experiment that went out of control.

Frank the Frankfurter

Once upon a time there lived a young man named Frank. Frank had a nice tan, even though he had never been to the beach or visited one of those tanning salons frequented by hairy-chested men and bleached blonde women. Frank was of slim build and didn't seem to have any arms, but this did not stop him from holding down an excellent government job. At his job, Frank sat at a desk and pushed papers around and occasionally answered the phone in order to inform people that their Schedule Y33 was either improperly filled out or was sadly out of date. On certain days, he sent out threatening notices to people who lived in Wisconsin.

One day, while eating a raisin Danish during his break in the cafeteria, a fellow named Dan who had just gotten new glasses looked at him and said, "Hey, Frank's a frankfurter! A really big frankfurter!" Someone else found some good quality stone-ground mustard and then they sat around and ate Frank.

The moral of this story is that you simply cannot trust the government, even if you work for them.