I Wonder Who Invented The Doughnut?

I wonder who invented the doughnut? Who was it that was so divinely inspired to take a blob of dough and drop it in a sizzling pan of grease? Hopefully, for their sake, that inspiration was complete and compelled them to then roll the golden result in sugar or drizzle it with honey.

Or, likewise, who was the saint who invented the rouladen? My experience with rouladen might be incomplete, of course, but my German grandfather used to make it for us on rare occasions. A slice of bacon and a slice of pickle rolled around a thin spear of beef, all baked up in a rich, brown sauce.

To heck with all of you diet-conscious, health-drink swilling velour wearers.