Once Upon A Time...
Here's a story I just stumbled across in a Harvard anthology of modern children's tales. The brevity and beauty of it struck me. Enjoy (it).
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Once upon a time, a gnome named Fred lived in the woods. He made a living as an assassin, working for hire for various governments, corporate entities, and the occasional tempermental wife. He was an assassin with ethics, though, and never took contracts against children or Republican women. He lived to a ripe old age and then retired when he was 65 to the French Riviera, as he had wisely invested his money in good mutual funds. He bought a small house in view of the sea and spent his days pottering about in the garden, cooking extravagant dinners for his friends, and sailing his Columbia 42.
The End
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Once upon a time, a gnome named Fred lived in the woods. He made a living as an assassin, working for hire for various governments, corporate entities, and the occasional tempermental wife. He was an assassin with ethics, though, and never took contracts against children or Republican women. He lived to a ripe old age and then retired when he was 65 to the French Riviera, as he had wisely invested his money in good mutual funds. He bought a small house in view of the sea and spent his days pottering about in the garden, cooking extravagant dinners for his friends, and sailing his Columbia 42.
The End
posted by ToadRocket at 6:03 PM
7 Comments:
Gee. I wonder if I'm missing my full potential being a missionary.
Yeah. You should seriously consider being a gnome.
Isn't Lionel already working for an occasionally tempermental wife?
I don't think though that the gnome assasinated his wife. Although it says he cooked extravagant dinners for his 'friends' so maybe his wife did indeed get taken out???
"Taken out" or "taken out?"
Or maybe his wife just cooked those extravagent dinners.
I think he married a beautiful young French trophy wife, who originally married him solely for his money, but then grew to love him for his small stature, his enormous moustache, and his clever way with guns. I'm not sure how good a cook she was. Are French girls good cooks these days?
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